In Switzerland we know how to make watches. We also know how to stop time, reads the giant poster in the lobby.
Im at Victoria-Jungfrau Grand Hotel and Spa in Interlaken to sample their Better Aging program and find out if you really can stop the clock and stay looking young or if such ideas are just cuckoo.
The area certainly has a feel of youthful exuberance about it when I arrive Im greeted by paragliders, their colourful canopies drifting down onto the green across from the hotel. During my stay, not a day goes by without seeing the red and yellow wings in death-defying loops.
I can watch them from my room a smart black, brown and gold chamber housing a hard double bed with two single duvets, the traditional Swiss arrangement presumably designed to prevent greedy partners from hogging the covers. Every evening theres a Swiss truffle on my pillow.
The balcony looks out towards the Bernese Alps and the snowy peaks of Jungfrau, which means young woman or maiden. The setting of my anti-ageing quest really couldnt be better.
My journey begins at Nescens Spa, a bright space with lots of natural light, candles and trailing plants.
Spa director Hans-Peter notes down my vitals and bids me stand on a body analysis machine before Im whisked off to a room with personal trainer Brigitte, an intimidatingly fit-looking 49-year-old with a blonde crop.
Its not all bad news I have more muscle than her but I have a lot of body fat (not exactly news to me). She tells me my visceral fat is of particular concern and, among other things, advises me to avoid fruit with a high sugar content such as pineapple and grapes.
The next step is easier to take a de-stressing massage using anti-ageing Nescens oil. This should smoothe the skin and boost cell recapitalisation. The massage is gentler than others Ive had, and quite relaxing, but I cant say my skin looked different afterwards.
The spa does boast outstanding relaxation areas, however. Comfortable couches with mountain views, a smart sauna and the apex of steam rooms with twinkly lights in its starry ceiling, a fountain in middle and a gentle mint scent wafting through the air.
The next morning we come at the ageing issue via exercise with a morning of gentle Pilates. Its run by another uber-fit blonde, Iris.
Then its time for a Better Aging lunch beetroot, goats cheese and orange salad followed by a delicious sea bream with basillicum and vegetables.
Usually guests on the programme stay for at least four days, during which time meals are matched to help them achieve their fitness goals but this cant be easy with a pizzeria, Sapori, as part of the hotel.
The afternoon is dedicated to more exercise a brisk 5km walk with Iris again, through woodland and along the river, emerald with glacier water.
I have the highest hopes for todays anti-ageing treatment a classic silk bliss facial using Sensai products.
My beautician, Nicole, explains how the silk in the range was previously reserved for the Emperor of Japan. Apparently the products can activate your stem cells to help remove wrinkles.
The facial begins with Sensai Silky Purifying Creamy Soap followed by a steamer to open the pores, and some seriously thorough extraction work.
Next came the Silky Purifying Silk Peeling Mask and a mud soap wash and mask, left for six minutes. Finally came four more serums and creams.
My skin looked blotchy but felt very soft afterwards like a velvety cushion. The blotchiness was gone within half an hour, replaced with a glow. The next morning I could feel a spot coming on my neck but my face was plump, smooth and even.
The next day, after a Better Aging breakfast of light bites including tomatos, olives and smoothies, Im back with Brigitte for Nescens Full Body Training. Im cheered by the sight of some pensioners in the class. How hard can it be?
Quite hard, is the answer a full-on but not unbearable 45 minutes of planks, sit ups, star jumps and stretching giant blue elastic bands.
Afterwards I reward myself with a swim in the stunning pool. The main spa has a white, black and gold theme and incredible views.
It also has a lovely outdoor jacuzzi which you swim out to, with bubble beds, jets to massage your feet and back, and a clearer look at the mountains.
At the end of my trip I was more relaxed, my skin felt smoother and I felt fitter. While I may not look younger, as someone approaching 40 Im certainly less stressed about ageing.
Victoria-Jungfrau Grand Hotel and Spa (Picture: Yvette Caster/Metro.co.uk)
Where to stay in Switzerland
Rooms at Victoria-Jungfrau Grand Hotel and Spa cost from 296 per night, with breakfast. Better Aging guests get a 50 per cent discount in high season and 25 per cent discount in low season.
The Better Aging program lasts from four days and costs from 2,499 per person, which includes treatments, personal training and meals.
I flew with Swiss Air from Heathrow to Zrich. Flights cost from 177 return.
To get to the spa I took the train from Zrich airport to Interlaken OST via Bern. Return tickets cost from 116 via Switzerland Tourism. The hotel was about five minutes from the station by taxi.
A Swiss Travel Pass offers unlimited travel throughout the rail, bus and boat network. It includes entrance to 500 museums and costs from 185.
For more on Switzerland visit http://www.MySwitzerland.com.
Where to stay in Heathrow
I stayed at the Radisson Blu Edwardian Heathrow a decadent way to extend the spa experience.
The lobby features an impressive chandelier and theres dark wood and bronzes throughout.
The hotels spa has just had a revamp, and has a relaxation area, cosy sauna, powerful jacuzzi and beautiful blue and gold steam room.
The revamped Radisson spa at the hotel (Picture: Yvette Caster/Metro.co.uk)
I loved the showers you use between each part of the spa. Im sure they would delight fellow Pratchett fans, bringing to mind the Archchancellors bathroom as they do. There were buttons for cold mist, Caribbean storm and waterfall (but thankfully no Old Faithful).
I also tried their chocolate orange massage a thorough, full body treatment. I wasnt overpowered by scent and only really noticed the mild smell of cocoa when it was applied to my chest. It left me feeling refreshed and smelling sweet.
The hotel has two places to dine, Indian restaurant Anayu and Steak and Lobster. My T-bone steak was pleasant, although the blue cheese sauce was a bit bland, while the skinny fries were deliciously seasoned.
I enjoyed chatting to Radissons virtual host, Edward. You can text him anything 24/7 order room service, ask for late checkout and enquire about hotel services. It was like having my own PA.
Rooms at Radisson Blu Edwardian cost from 76.50 per night. They are offering Stay, Park and Fly packages from 102.50 per night, including parking for trips for eight to 15 days.
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