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Former Exeter University student and Love Island contestant Dr Alex George has opened up about dealing with grief and working though the coronavirus pandemic after the sudden death of his younger brother.

The A&E doctor, from Carmarthenshire, bravely spoke out about coming to terms with his loss in a year which has also seen him work 18-hour days for weeks on end balancing his role as a frontline medic with his role as a public health figure.

On July 24, Alex - who studied medicine at the University of Exeter - shared news of his 19-year-old brother's death in a heartbreaking post on social media.

Llyr, a talented student who was about to start medical school, took his own life.

Now Alex has spoken about his determination to help others with their mental and physical health to try and prevent other families from going through the pain that his family have endured over the last six months.

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Speaking to WalesOnline the 30-year-old said: "Its an up and down journey. I think what is interesting is that my life feels a bit like before and after there is this big line of separation.

"My memories feel very distant but I think thats part of a trauma like this. Grief is an ongoing thing.

"Especially with the pandemic, work, and obviously Im living alone, its not helping unfortunately. Saying youre allowed to bubble with other people is one thing but the reality is you dont see people very much.

"But Ive been able to see my family and I have a really good set of friends so we are getting through it. Its just about taking each day as it comes and trying to do something positive. I bury myself in my work quite a lot which is both a good and bad thing but it does help me in scenarios with things like this.

"[Christmas] will be tough, all of the firsts will be hard and Christmas will be really tough but well get through it. We dont have any other options. I would never wish this on anyone else you just have to accept its happened to you and do what you can with your life."

In the weeks and months after his brother's death Alex has not shied away from talking about a situation that to many people is simply unimaginable.

Speaking to Lorraine Kelly in September the former reality star described how he had been in a restaurant with friends in London when his dad phoned him with the news. In the emotional interview he went on to talk about how he and his brother Elliott had to drive together back to Wales sitting in silence, crying, and shouting in anguish during the unthinkable five-hour journey.

He has also spoken about the trolling he had endured and shared one message that read: "Your brother is dead, get off social media" to which Alex responded: "Imagine being this person. Im holding by a thread and you get people like this."

Despite everything, what Alex is determined to do is pay tribute to a younger brother who he describes as a "mini me" a conscientious, empathetic, and confident teenager and talented footballer who would have doubtlessmade a "very good doctor".

Alex said: " It is hard. At the moment [Llyr's] name is associated with a certain thing and suicide and its very very hard to separate that but we do do our best. Ive got pictures and stuff of him and we do try and laugh about certain things. I saw a meme and I just thought: 'Hed laugh at that' you have got to think about those things.

"I think its important to be open. I would never want to shy away from whats happened. With suicide theres no shame in it. Its the same as if someone has a heart attack its a very sad, preventable cause of death of course but its not something I would ever be ashamed of. Its happened we have to try and do something positive.

"Its hard enough to deal with it anyway but quite frankly in the public eye it's tough but also the amount of support Ive had is unbelievable. There is no doubt, really, people have been so kind I think social media gets a bad rep sometimes, even the media in general, but people have been very kind and supportive and thats helped me a lot."

It's not just online that Alex has received support however. When his mother Jane started knitting to help keep herself busy dozens of people from the Carmarthen community put in orders to buy her products, which will raise money for mental health charities. Then there are those who also volunteered to help, creating an "army of knitters" for the Welsh bank worker.

Alex added: "She started knitting to try and distract herself. She had that feeling of guilt you inevitably get in that scenario, especially as a mother or father. So she sat there and said: 'Ill knit to distract myself' and thought: 'Well, Ill try and sell some of this stuff'.

"Someone actually bought a pair of her gloves and then she thought 'People might buy this' and all of a sudden the orders started coming in.

"My dad is retired, my mum is still working in a bank but obviously is off on long-term leave and its really, really tough. If you sit still too long its not good for you. You need to keep busy its not good for you to not to be active mentally."

When it comes to keeping busy it would be difficult to overemphasise how hard Dr Alex has worked this year. Working in the A&E department of University Hospital Lewisham in south London he and his team have seen first-hand how hard the area has been hit by Covid-19. That's at the same time as the content Alex has been sharing with his combined two million followers on Instagram and YouTube talking about everything from vaccines to health and wellbeing advice.

In his podcast series, the Waiting Room, he and emergency medical consultant Dr Anna Colclough describe facing huge amounts of patients coming in and needing to be intubated both young and old. You can find more about that here.

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Alex, speaking in mid-December, said: "Lewisham was hit so hard and so early that we kind of realised that it was coming. The speed in which it happened and how unwell patients were coming in, it was obvious we had a big problem so there was a real realisation that something terrible was happening.

"Lewisham and south London has been very, very hard-hit. In fact we are going through a very difficult wave at the moment, we are really busy at the moment the hospital is full with a lot of Covid patients.

"Its been tough, its been really tough, but the sense of teamwork we have, weve pulled together, the camaraderie, we really are a team. Weve looked out for each other and supported each other so in many ways its been a reminder that there are other things in the world.

"Its something you look back on now and you think: 'At least I felt I was a part of it, at least I could do something positive'. I do feel that throughout the pandemic in hospital and through using my platform that I have helped people. And I do think I get some comfort from that.

"I love my job, its my passion, and I would feel very lost without it."

Talking about managing the second wave of the pandemic this winter, Alex added: " I gave so much in round one, Ive got to try and preserve a bit of energy the second time. It nearly killed me that first round.

"There were 18-hour days almost I did 22 weeks and I didnt take a single day off. I wasn't necessarily in A&E every day, I was going into A&E four or five days but Id be doing YouTube videos. PHE [Public Health England] were expecting us to do a huge amount of advisory stuff, most people would listen to doctors and not presenters, so the amount of responsibility to create this content was huge. Im a little bit burnt out. "

Despite everything this year has brought Alex is determined to remain positive for the new year ahead. Next year he hopes to transition into GP work as well as his A&E role a move into the preventative medicine he has become passionate about, especially giving advice around mental and physical health.

In May 2021 he will also celebrate the release of his first book Live Well Every Day a book addressing the modern health challenges we face and how little changes to our routines can make a big difference. According to Alex using the principles and advice in his book has helped him deal with his hardest days, from his time as a medical student to the monumental challenges he is now facing.

Explaining the thinking behind his book, he said: "The idea of the book came many years ago when I was at medical school.

"I ended up being on placement somewhere that I was a bit isolated and started feeling not myself. I stopped exercising, I started eating badly, I was sleeping quite badly, I wasnt really seeing friends. I wasnt doing the things that I knew were right for me and my mental health and my own happiness as well.

"I made changes, little changes I started going outside for a walk every day, I started exercising every day, I planned my own meals, healthy meals, I planned bedtimes, I had time off my phone, doing all those good things. I became quite isolated so I made a plan to call someone every night someone different, a friend, a family member, every night and chat with them.

"I found those changes, an accumulation of those changes, meant that I just felt so much happier and healthier and I think thats the premise of this book giving people those tools they can use to make small changes to their own lives that ultimately that will make changes to not just their mental health but physical health too.

"Most of the book I wrote through the pandemic actually. I felt quite inspired and quite driven to write it with everything that happened with my brother.

"The book isnt written for him in that sense but I do feel it was a huge motivating factor. I couldnt help him but maybe this book will help other people and hopefully can protect people from ending up in that scenario.

"He was very proud of it he was really excited about the book. I had written a bit of it and we had actually had the publishing contract and agreement and he was so excited the book was coming to life."

You can pre-order Live Well Every Day from retailers including Amazon, Waterstones, and WHSmith.

Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how youre feeling, or if youre worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.

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Love Island's Dr Alex George opens up about the hardest year of his life - Devon Live

This entry was posted on December 28, 2020 at 12:52 pm and is filed under Preventative Medicine. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed. |